Harry Potter and the Party from Hell
by Bunny1
Summary: Jointfic by me and GreenLeoFiend. A one-shot comedy story, very LOOSELY taken off of the 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer' episode, 'Where the Wild Things Are'. After the 'Order of the Pheonix' ordeals, Fred and George thought the gang should blow off steam...


Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny followed Fred and George into the crowded house.

"All right, tell me again what we're doing here?" Hermione demanded.

"It's a party." Fred said.

"Yes, I can see _that_." Hermione huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "But, who are these people? Why are we here?"

"Ministry sponsored college fraternity. Percy came here, so we nicked his old ID."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Keep an eye on the little bit." Fred said, gesturing to Ginny.

"I'm not a baby!" Ginny said indignantly.

"Well, you wouldn't even be here if you wouldn't have walked in on us planning and insisted." George said bluntly. "We're gonna go hunt up some action; you guys have fun."

And, with that, they slipped into the crowds, leaving the younger set feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"They had good reason for bringing us here." Ron said to Hermione defensively. "They figured after everything, we could use an unwind. They were _trying_ to be helpful."

"Yes, I realize their hearts were in the right place." Hermione nodded. "It's sweet, just… not completely appropriate."

"Well, for once let's just forget what's 'appropriate'; I'd say we fought a _man's_ fight, all of us! An', we _deserve_ to blow off some steam." Ron said.

"A man's fight, is it?" Hermione squeaked, hands rising to her hips.

"Well, yeah!"

"Well, this _woman_ fought just as hard as you did!"

"Never said you didn't--- it's just a figure of speech!"

Harry sighed, taking Ginny by the hand and leading her away from the argument. He was tired--- he just didn't want to hear it right now. At this moment, all he wanted to do was _forget_… Forget what he'd seen happen to Sirius… Forget that Voldemort was _always _going to be over his shoulder…

But, of course, he couldn't forget. It just wasn't that simple. At least Ginny seemed to sense that.

"You all right, Harry?" she asked softly.

He nodded. "I'm fine, Ginny. Thank you."

"Um, excuse me?" she said to one of the girls standing near, "Where is the ladies'?"

"Only loo is upstairs." The girl said, pointing to a sea of people standing on a staircase.

Ginny grimaced. "Thanks…" she turned to Harry apologetically. "This may take a little while, will you be all right alone?"

"Ah, I think I'd better go with you."

"To the ladies?" Ginny asked, hiding a smirk.

Harry blushed. "Ah, no, just… so many people, not safe… I can stand outside, obviously…"

"You're sweet." She said, dropping a kiss on his cheek. "Come on…"

Harry and Ginny made it up the stairs where they crossed many other students in their path.

"Wow, this line is long, by the time we get in line I might have to go too," Harry said.

Ginny raised an eyebrow at Harry.

The door open and then 10 girls squeezed into the room before the door closed again.

"Well, that got rid a good amount of people," Ginny replied.

"Okay, I am done my darling," Ginny said in a weird tone that was foreign to her.

Harry looked at her strangely, until he too felt, mysterious essence take over.

They slipped into an empty room, and the door locked on it's own behind them. But, neither thought this strange as the psychic aphrodisiac took it's full hold, and they made their way to the bed, frantically kissing and clawing at each other's clothing...

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione looked up from their argument to notice that Harry and Ginny were nowhere in sight.

"Great, now we're going to have to find them." Hermione said.

"Well, come on..." Ron said.

But, as they began to walk through the room, they noticed the strange behaviors of everyone around them. There were a group of about six college-age people sitting in a circle playing spin-the-bottle, and Fred and George were standing in a group who had their hands to a wall, acting as though they were high.

"Fred! George!" Ron called out. "What the bloody hell, man?"

"Ron, kiddo... you gotta try this..." they said, putting Ron's hand against the wall.

Ron's eyes bulged, and his face turned bright red, and he began breathing heavily, but Hermione grabbed his wrist and yanked him off.

"What _was_ that?"

"Well, don't let it get you, for pity's sakes!" she scolded. "Come on, you three, something strange is going on here; we should go find Harry and Ginny..."

The two went upstairs, and noticed the loo door. Where she expected a line, instead was a bunch of people acting strangely. One person was speaking in a weird language that sounded mysteriously like Elvish..

And another was talking to the wall. But at least they didn't have the bugged eyes.

"This is really strange," Hermione said.

"Yes. Bloody strange. Harry! Ginny!"

Hermione started knocking on doors.

"Harry?! Ginny?" Hermione called.

Finally, after trying several doors, getting various reactions from the several occupants, Hermione heard a familiar voice.

"Hermione, is that you?" Ginny called in a sultry voice.

"Yes, Ginny!" Hermione said, tugging frantically at the door. "Let us in!"

"Go away! We're busy!"

Hermione frowned. "Who is 'we'? And, what are you 'busy' _doing_?"

"Tell her to go away..." she heard Harry laughing, sounding almost drunk with passion.

Then, she heard the sounds of lovemaking, and made a shocked face. Ron's face, on the other hand, looked pissed.

"Hey! Harry! That's my sister! Get off! And, open the door!"

But, as Ron spoke, thorns began to grow around the door, thick and sharp.

"We gotta get Fred an' George and get outta here... maybe get Hagrid, even..." Ron said worriedly.

"Yeah...but I don't feel comfortable leaving the two of them alone," Hermione asked.

Ron nodded. "Me either, but it won't help with those thorns there. Something is really strange here. And so far Fred and George are only acting like stoned idiots and now what ever is going on in there." Ron shivered at the thought.

"It might not even be them in there. Let's hurry off."  
The two went down the stairs to see Fred try to score a hit off some mysterious mist. Ron grabbed his arm and yanked him away. "We are going!"

"Oh Ron, don't be such a baby. We are only young once," George shouted.

"Look at the two of you!" Hermione shouted disgusted. "The two of you look like the living dead!"

"Hey, we didn't do no drugs. We just followed the dragon. To the wall." Fred protested with hand gestures.

George chuckled. "Yeah, do you think Charlie ever follows the dragon in Romania?"

However, Ron and Hermione simply dragged the two of them out, and got them onto the street, into the fresh night air. When they were finally away from the influence of the house, they looked as though things were much more clear.

"All right, what was all that?" George asked, running a hand through his longish red hair.

"Dunno, mate, but… it was pretty wicked…." Fred answered. "Hey, wait a minute… where's Harry and Ginny?"

"Still inside." Hermione said tightly. "We can't get at them right now… We need help."

"Where are they?"

"Upstairs, trapped. Thorns locked around the door. We need Dumbledore…"

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPH

When they reached Dumbledore's office, Hermione went straight into details, not worried about the consequences of sneaking off campus for the party, and, to the boys' surprise, Dumbledore was only concerned with the task at hand--- for the moment, anyway.

"All right, let me see what information I can find about this house…" he said, waving his wand at the bookshelf.

A large, dusty book fell off onto the desk, and opened to a specific page.

"Uh-huh… I see…" he frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"What is it?" Ron demanded loudly. "Because, whatever it is, it's got Harry and Ginny!"

"The house was the childhood home of one Delores Umbridge, and donated to the college some twenty-five years ago." Dumbledore explained. "With Miss Umbridge's… repressed personality, it's possible that the house is host to a number of poltergeists."

"Great, more trouble from that wench…" Ron grumbled.

"Now, what are Harry and Ginny locked into doing?" Dumbledore asked.

Ron and Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably, especially when Fred and George looked at them.

"Ron…"

"It's not their fault!" Ron defended. "They're like… possessed or something!"

"Ron's right. But, since you asked, Professor…" Hermione swallowed, "they're… locked in a room, surrounded by thorns. In that room they seem to be…"

"Shagging their brains out." Ron supplied helpfully.

"Ron!" Hermione hissed.

"What? They _are_…"

"Ahem," Dumbledore said, "yes, well… I suppose then, that they could be the… 'battery' of sorts. If you can get to the room and stop them, you can perhaps stop the other activities in the house. Otherwise, the poltergeist may suck the lives out of them."

Everyone looked grim at that statement.

"But, Professor…" Ron frowned, "_how_ exactly are we to get in there past those things?"

The Professor held up one finger and nodded, then walked to a cabinet. "Here, Mr. Weasley, this should do the trick…" he said, handing him a vial. "Now, be careful with it, and after you get them out, we'll have to arrange for the ministry to do an exorcism of the place…"

HPHPHPHPHPHHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"Gods… I feel like I can't get close enough…" Ginny panted. "I need you…"

"I'm right here…" Harry breathed in her ear. "Right here…"

But, their beautiful time was interrupted, as the door was slung open by Ginny's brothers and Hermione. A pink aura seemed to fall away from the two of them, and Ginny pulled the covers around herself, looking shocked. Harry, wide-eyed, looked at her.

"Oh, did we just… I…"

"It's all right." Ron assured. "You were possessed; not either of your faults. Come on, let's get you two dressed and out of here."

Hermione waved her wand, and their clothes were back on them, but, as they began walking back to Hogwarts, everyone was uncomfortably silent. Harry kept stealing glances at Ginny, concerned, but she refused to meet anyone's eyes, and headed straight up to bed when they got back. Harry looked as though he might cry.

"Harry?" Hermione asked gently. "Are you all right?"

"I… poor Ginny… I didn't… what if she's hurt?"

"Do you remember anything?" Ron asked curiously.

"Vividly." Harry answered quietly. "But, you had no control, right?" Ron asked hopefully.

"No."

"Then, what's to worry about?"

"Well, that's just it; her first time, and neither she nor I had any say?"

"Gallant of you an' all, but---"

"No! I wanted… I wanted it to be special for her! But, it's not… it's all ruined…"

"Harry…" Hermione asked carefully, "Are you saying you had… feelings… before this? For Ginny?"

Harry nodded mutely, not looking at anyone.

"Well, then you definitely have to talk to her."

"Not tonight he doesn't!"

"Ron…" Hermione sighed.

"Look, I know Ginny, and I'm telling you, that she's gonna need at least to sleep on it."

"Ron's right, I agree." Harry said to Hermione. "But… would you be all right with… me and Ginny…"

"Wait, wait… too much too fast." Ron said. "_Technically_, you've already… well… you know… but, it would be different now?"

Harry nodded.

"Just… take it slow, and no snogging in front of us."

Harry smiled. "I shall try."

HPHPHPHHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

'

Early the next morning, Harry found Ginny standing in the common room, looking into the fireplace, alone.

"Up early." He observed, coming up behind her.

Ginny nodded slowly.

"Are you angry with me?" Harry asked quietly.

"Angry? With you?" Ginny asked in surprise.

"Well, yes… I thought…"

"No, silly, I'm not. I'm ashamed of myself." She admitted.

"It wasn't your fault--- even _Ron_ would be the first to say so. Not mine either; we were possessed."

"Yes, but, I remember all of it, and…"

Her face turned bright red.

"Ginny?" Harry whispered, cupping her face to make her look at him.

"I… liked it?"

"Ohhh…" Harry said softly. "Well, so did I." he smiled. "But, if we were to get back to that point, we'd probably do best to take it a bit more slowly…"

"Excuse me, what?" Ginny asked, surprised.

"I've had feelings for a long time, I just didn't… I was scared to act on them."

Ginny's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Harry nodded, and Ginny reached up and hugged him tight. "I have too, for so, so long…"

Suddenly, the proximity of her face to his made his skin blush hotly, and he reached over and kissed her. He meant it to be just a gentle little kiss, more of a peck, really, but, it quickly intensified, and her hands began knotting themselves in his raven hair. She felt a cool breeze as he began tugging at the hem of her shirt, and released a small gasp as she felt the calloused skin of his fingertips against the smooth skin of her abdomen. His fingers moved up slightly, just beneath the wire of her brassiere, when they heard a voice behind them suddenly.

"Well, well, lookee here… Potter's got himself a new slag…"

"What is it of you Seamus?" Harry said to the voice, without looking at him.

Ginny looked immediately embarrassed and pulled down her shirt.

Harry instinctively moved in front of Ginny blockading any view Seamus could gather, and turned to face him.

"My relationship with Ginny is nothing of your concern," he informed.

Seamus smiled. "Ah. Well, if I were you, I would take your business in a more private location."

He looked up at Ginny. "She is growing up. I will say that."

"Hey!" Harry scolded as he saw Seamus's eyes travel a bit south.

He pulled his head back. "Sorry." he grinned.

Ginny threw a near by sofa pillow at Seamus. "Shove off. An mind your business."

"Look, if you two wanna shag, it ain't none of my nevermind." Seamus shrugged.

"We were NOT!" Ginny huffed. "Snogging at the MOST..."

"Right, whatever. But, the beds have curtains, that's all I'm sayin'..."

"Okay, _out_, Seamus." Harry said, shaking his head.

Ginny buried her face in her hands, smacking at Harry a bit when he started laughing.

"It's not funny! I'm going to get a reputation!"

Harry slid an arm around her. "Hey, first person says any wrong word about you... I'll break their nose."

Ginny smiled. "Okay."

"And don't forget you have three brothers here as well," Harry added.

"True," Ginny agreed. "Well, in a way, I am glad we were interrupted."

Harry paused, hurt. "Why?"

"You are right, we shouldn't rush. Let's try to have a real relationship. That doesn't mean we can't hold hands or kiss?"

Harry grinned at her and studied her perfect body, and placed her hands on her hips as kiss.

"Harry...Stop..." she giggled, but still she kissed him on the lips. "Thanks."

"So where do we go now?"

Luna walked in, barefooted.

"Ah! There they are!" she said triumphantly.

"Luna?" Harry asked quizzically.

"My blue shoes." She explained, pointing to the mantle. "Bloody nargals…" she said, almost affectionately.

Around this time, Cho Cheng walked in, glaring at Ginny sitting next to Harry, and sat down on his other side, with a self-satisfied smirk, placing a hand on his leg. Ginny's eyes seemed almost in flames, but, she didn't want to give Cho the satisfaction.

"Here, Luna, let me get those for you…"

"Thank you," Luna said taking the shoes from Ginny.

"They are pretty, aren't they?" she asked in a way to change the subject.

Ginny nodded.

Harry feeling increasingly uncomfortable stood up in the middle of the circle of the three women.

"Is there something going on Harry?" Luna asked concerned. "I sensed the remains of something powerful earlier today. But I was not sure what."

"Ahhh… not sure." Harry lied. "But, Ginny and I were just going, so…"

"Going where?" Cho demanded with a slight pout. "Come on, sit down, talk to me…" she practically purred, placing one hand on his arm.

Ginny's eyes narrowed.

"All right, we can stay…" she said slowly.

Harry looked at Ginny worriedly, but sat down all the same. Ginny, meanwhile, plopped herself on Harry's lap. Luna took this as her cue to silently step out of the room. Harry rested his hand on Ginny's thigh and hid the smirk as she began nuzzling his earlobe.

"Ahem, so, Cho… what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"I… I was hoping you could help tutor me…" Cho stammered, flabbergasted.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione came bouncing into the common room upon the scene, and looked quite surprised.

"Well, I'm a little busy…" he said, eyes half-closing as Ginny began stroking his jawline with one fingertip.

"Yes, I can see that." Cho huffed. "What'd you do, put a love charm on him?"

Ron started glaring at Cho angrily; how dare she? And, he could see that Hermione and Harry were not amused either. Ginny, on the other hand, looked as though she had been slapped.

"I'll have you to know that Ginny Weasley is the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." Harry said evenly. "She's brilliant, and good besides… and way more powerful than most student here at Hogwarts. Any bloke would be lucky…"

Ginny leaned forward and began kissing Harry, and he pulled her leg slightly forward so that she was straddling him, and their kissing intensified, no longer acknowledging Cho was even in the room. Huffily, Cho stomped away.

"All right, you two; that's enough." Ron said, flopping next to them. "What'd I say about snogging in front of 'mione and me?"

"Well, you might have to get used to it, Ron." Harry said, placing his hands on her hips.

"Oh, ugh…" he groaned, slumping down on the couch.

Ginny, Harry and Hermione laughed, wondering how much fun they could have with this in the future…


End file.
